Updated: Mar 17
Humans are very intelligent beings. If we allow it. And there is always a reason or an underlying purpose for any behavior to be experienced. And this is where I feel like more awareness needs to be brought. But humans are also very selfish beings. This is why it is a purpose that stays unaddressed. Most likely because it is easier to accept damage if it is inflicted by another than it is to take accountability in the ability to heal yourself. To blame your misery or failure on something uncontrollable, rather than to accept the responsibility if you were to try and fail yourself. To me, it sounds like it's not so much of an issue with relating to each other, but rather one with understanding ourselves.
There is a reason that nice guys finish last. It's because once they are found by someone ready to commit, the search will be finished. They will be the last contestant. This is a GOOD position. In this race being last simply signifies actually winning.
A common theme that has been seen is that our society brainwashes young men and women to believe that being nice is boring and the bad boy gets the hot chicks. And advising the good guys to act like assholes in order to keep her baited and wanting more.
What seems to be omitted is that those hot chicks are usually very insecure. Which means they are not even mentally capable of treating any relationship the proper way.
The purpose of those chaotic and painful relationships was meant as a training exercise to bring awareness to the aspects of ourselves that we do not love properly. The weaknesses that we are hiding, and the "ego-mind" that we need to listen to but not be controlled by. And the damages/insecurities/broken pieces which still cause pain and tenderness and discomfort- so that we can be aware of the areas that need more attention and healing. These bad relationships are actually meant to be our motivational coaches. It is not meant to be personal or slow torture. It is meant to wake you up to who you are inside and push you to choose to heal yourself first.
Stop tricking yourself into chasing love. It is a never-ending cycle of- chasing who you can't have, ignoring the ones who you can have, and then losing interest if you ever actually catch them. Because true love will find you when you are actually able to handle it with the maturity and gentleness and attention that it actually deserves. What you are actually chasing is some "idea" of love that you have burdened with the job of giving you the energy that you have deprived yourself of in return. You are delegating the responsibility of filling your missing puzzle pieces. We were all born with all of our puzzle pieces. Some of us lose a few along the journey. The accountable people will take time to backtrack and find any missing piece- when they finally decide they want to experience the whole puzzle as a whole. But those who chase others to find their missing pieces are equivalent to someone stealing pieces from another's puzzle to try to cram into their own- in hopes that it will be the right one. Stop chasing. Stop asserting blame. Stop taking it personally that someone is on their own path. And start taking it personally that you have been ignoring your own path.
The best thing about accountability is that means you hold all the power to change tour circumstance in your own hands. Take back your power. And accept that wanting true love and wanting to be in possession of a love interest are two different things.
Ask the universe for WHAT you want to manifest- Universal balance will know what will be for your highest good in regards to finding your true love- Release the conscious thought of WHO- Release the expectations, and obsessions about WHEN- and Trust that the Universal energy balance will be able to guide you to exactly WHERE you need to be. In the meantime, be patient. And live your life to the fullest while you work your butt off to prepare. make yourself the strongest, safest, the most abundant, fulfilled-whole, happy, and experienced self that you can. That way you will actually be able to enjoy and care for your true love in the way that they deserve.
At the foundation of it all, we must remember that we mirror and reflect each other. Another individual is only going to treat you with the same energy that you treat yourself. If you ignore your self-care- they will ignore your needs. If you obsess and focus on what they are doing and neglect what you need to be doing- they will be self-centered and only focused on their needs and themselves. If you have negative self-talk or low self-worth- they will not see you as adequate or worthy of being treated with importance. If you do not put your interests and needs as a priority- they will show little interest in your activities and goals, you won't be their priority. If you distrust them or think paranoid/untrusting thoughts about their actions- they will feel no need to earn your trust, and they will feel it is not safe to admit their faults or fears, they will not feel safe to trust you. if you only focus on your own interests- they will feel unimportant to you and not give you space to be able to do those interests. If you respect them no matter what the situation- they will respect you and support you. If you accept them unconditionally without blame, guilt, or shame- they will welcome you and they will seek you. If you truly, genuinely, unconditionally desire them to have whatever is BEST for them, they will become what is best for you.
True love will find you if you are destined, stop chasing the Earthly desires. Trying to rush the process is only going to build resistance and more damage. Trust in divine timing, and trust in your own worthiness and loveableness. And try to first figure out how to make yourself truly happy before you try to take on the job of making the person you "love" happy. Actually become fully independent and stable on your own financial/mental foundations, before you try to take on the job of being someone else's provider.
Sometimes the most precious gift, the most necessary unanswered prayer, is the unex[pected opportunity to be separated from that love you are desiring. That destined love that for some reason has become a heavy almost burdening weight that weighs you down. This no-contact/ separation is not meant to be a punishment but rather meant to be an opportunity. Because it is the Universes way of temporarily setting down the extra weight that you chose to pick up before you were ready. So that you can be able to move around and get things done and get yourself healed so that when you do get a chance to pick up that extra weight again, it won't be so heavy. It won't be so burdening. It can be what it was meant to be all along, a little extra weight to pull you/push you forward in your life.
Love and Light
AmberEnergy Healer & Tarot